“How to Say Nothing in Five Hundred Words” is a clever essay by a college composition professor that demonstrates the faulty writing tendencies of freshmen learning to write effectively. The mock student’s essay within the teaching essay is dated – 1950’s college football – but the techniques suggested hold true today. Techniques include what angles to employ when writing, concision and clarity, and word choice. The author uses humor to critique the mock student’s essay, which is so poorly executed that it’s cringe-worthy. Overall, the piece is quite entertaining. The only let-down is the lack of conclusion, which leaves the reader a bit unsatisfied and sets a bad example for ending essays. The pros far outweigh the cons, and this is an essential piece of literature for any beginning writing class.

Roberts, Paul. “How to Say Nothing in Five Hundred Words” Readings for Writers Sixth Edition by Jo Ray McCuen and Anthony C. Winkler. Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1989.